Don't you know that I'm still standing, better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.
I still got it, I still know, feel, get my senses working the mojo.
I'm picking up the vibes from my daughter. I hear her, feel her, and decode her. In recent months, the people that love her but don't see her, my parents, her dad, have asked me, me; I guess they know better than I that I know her better than they, how is "beloved child" doing?
I've said pretty much the same thing to all: Oh, she's doing well. She making good grades in her last semester in nursing school. She will be graduating this May. And then, the brick of sensitivity has smacked me in the head and I add, "I think she's feeling a little anxious, I think she's starting to get ready for graduation and she's worried about entry into the "real world."
Of course, I know, in my huge ginormous age, that she will be just fine, she will do fine in the work place, and that most work places won't just throw her into the room and say, "go get'em, honey."

She will be proctored for what, six months? some incredible amount of time that will be good and then she will be ready to walk on to the floor.

But soaring above the mundane worries (albeit most significant to us when we are amidst them) I know that, about the proctors, about how she will still be watched over, not just turned loose to kill someone, randomly.
Just tonight, she was at my house when I got home. I knew that because we had talked on "my" cell phone.
SO i was very glad to see her and we spent nearly three hours talking. part serous, part fun.
she talked about her problems with sleeping, which affected her enough to ask me about talking to (Our fave ear) and why. She talked about the fears that have kept her from calling and she admitted she fears she might be found too "crazy."
I said, I hate to disappoint you, but I think you are probably suffering some anxiety about impending graduation and I think that is normal.
She agrees that it is probably normal, we both agree that does not mean by passing the call. I say, call anyway, let the expert do her thing and she will probably think of something we haven't and she will undoubtedly be able to draw you out to articulate your issues and she will be able to say the things that we can say, but some how are lame from us, the bomb from her.
So, I'm still standing.
Best I've felt in a long while.
I am a good mom, I know my child, she still turns to me, she listens to me, she loves me and prizes me.
she jokes that at 31 she will be sitting with a friend in a bar and the friend's phone will ring and it will be her mother, wanting to know if the friend has seen her, and where she is and where her mom can get in touch, and well so on and on. The truth is the truth

I'm still standing, better than I ever was