A wintry mix. I love that term (sarcasm here). but that's what was coming down last night, Saturday night. The roads had black ice here and there and there was a little bit of slippage. But it was fairly early, 10:30 and I was headed home and only slightly buzzed (another phrase I "love," Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Why is that. I had had two 24 oz Buds, had a slight buzz but not at all drunk, not for me.) I was driving the speed limit or less and watching carefully. I was leaving ample space between the cars in front of me and me. I was thinking about how I would drive if the car started to slide, all things to avoid an accident.
And so, I survived another day. Another day to write in my blog, which I have not been writing in for some time.
But last year, around christmas, my computer's hard drive crashed and of course I had not backed up anything for several years. I lost photos, journal entries, audio entries, a couple of videos (I can get those back, those are the least important or valued, of course). So it's like getting a brand new computer and starting all over. Got to reload all my software, which I still have.
Things could be worse, much worse but it's still pretty bad. I'm sad about the writings and photos. Sigh. So, now that the horses are out, I'm going to lock the barn door. I'm going to back up regularly, once I get something on here to back up, and I bought a flash drive to load stuff on.
So I'm going to take this as a new effort, too. I'm going to be more diligent about writing on a regular basis, I'm going to create a web page, make a video to post on YouTube and on my Web page and advanced my knowledge about digital photography and start printing out stuff.
2009. It will be okay. It will be fine. :)
I've got a long list of resolutions but I've decided to take J's advice, this columnist from Arkansas, who I cannot stand but I did like the column about being resolute rather than resolving. Resolute is just being. It is. Resolutions mean you are going to. I understand the difference and the former works better for me because I get it. It instead of resolving to be better daughter or friend, I am just going to be a better daughter and friend.
Instead of planning to lose weight, I'm losing weight. :) I get it, so it's the only thing she's done that I consider worthwhile, well except when she was writing about when she was married and how she and her kids and the husband were working it out. when things when bad she kept those details to herself and ended up writing bland, boring columns. I understand wanting privacy but fuck that if you posit yourself as a columnist, or at least a life columnist. If it's technology or knitting or something, you can avoid the person, or add the occasional anecdote. But if you are writing a life column then you by God have to write about your life. And when she and Andy divorced, I didn't even see it coming and they were pretty much divorced before she just kinda mentioned it offhandedly. she had switched to writing these self improvement bull shit things, which are okay every now and then but otherwise, fuck that drivel and I don't want to listen to it. So I generally don't read her except if she talks about a specific book or person who is a guru in the self help world.
But back to me and 2009. My daughter wants to go to Australia this year. OMG 28 hours on an airplane. But the one thing I've always been able to do is stand up to whatever she wanted. That's one reason I'm having a hard time is because she's an adult and has her own life and mine is empty. It's not her fault, I should stop this feeling sorry for myself, she would be mad at me if she knew how I felt. So another reason I want to get myself a purpose is so she won't have to worry about me or be disappointed in me. Hey, she's been my inspiration since she was born, since she was a brown circle on the take home test. Ain't no shame in that.
Stay tuned.